T'was The Night Before Christmas - High Tech Style
'Twas the night before Christmas and all through the house Not a creature was
stirring, except Papa's mouse. The computer was humming, the icons were
hopping, As Papa did last-minute Internet shopping.
The stockings were
hung by the modem with care In hope that St. Nicholas would bring new
software. The children were nestled all snug in their beds, While visions
of computer games danced in their heads.
PageMaker for Billy, and Quicken
for Dan, And Carmen Sandiego for Pamela Ann. The letters to Santa had been
sent out by Mom, To santaclaus@toyshop.northpole.com -
Which has now
been re-routed to Washington State Because Santa's workshop has been bought
by Bill Gates. All the elves and reindeer have had to skedaddle To flashy
new quarters in suburban Seattle.
After centuries of a life that was
simple and spare, St. Nicholas is suddenly a new billionaire, With a shiny
red Porsche in the place of his sleigh, And a house on Lake Washington that's
just down the way >From where Bill has his mansion. The old fellow
preens In black Gucci boots and red Calvin Klein jeans. The elves have
stock options and desks with a view, Where they write computer code for
Johnny and Sue.
No more dolls or toy soldiers or little toy drums (ahem -
pardon me) No more dolls or tin soldiers or little toy drums Will be under
the tree, only compact disk ROMS With the Microsoft label. So spin up your
drive, >From now on Christmas runs only on Win95.
More rapid than
eagles the competitors came, And Bill whistled, and shouted, and called them
by name. "Now, ADOBE! now, CLARIS! now, INTUIT! too, Now, APPLE! and
NETSCAPE! you are all of you through,
It is Microsoft's SANTA that the
kids can't resist, It's the ultimate software with a traditional twist
- Recommended by no less than the jolly old elf, And on the package, a
picture of Santa himself.
Get 'em young, keep 'em long, is Microsoft's
scheme, And a merger with Santa is a marketer's dream. To the top of the
NASDAQ! to the top of the Dow! Now dash away! dash away! dash away -
wow!"
And Mama in her 'kerchief and I in my cap, Had just settled down
for a long winter's nap, When out on the lawn there arose such a
clatter, The whir and the hum of our satellite platter, As it turned
toward that new Christmas star in the sky, The SANTALITE owned by the
Microsoft guy. As I sprang from my bed and was turning around, My computer
turned on with a Jingle-Bells sound.
And there on the screen was a
smiling Bill Gates Next to jolly old Santa, two arm-in-arm mates. And I
heard them exclaim in voice so bright, Have a MICROSOFT CHRISTMAS, and TO ALL
A GOOD NIGHT.
Copyright (c) 1999-2002 Craig Colvin. All rights reserved. website@craigcolvin.com
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